‘If Only He Weren’t (Blank), He’d Be Perfect…’ Overcoming the Myth of ‘The Perfect Person’

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Ahhh… The blissful moments before you said, “So tell me about yourself.”

Alright sexy gals, (and the wolves who adore them ;)),

So, I’m going to bypass answering a question this week because I came across an article that is just too good to not share it with you guys.

When looking at a lot of the relationship problems many of you have, I’ve noticed that oftentimes a relationship fails not because the two people involved don’t feel a love connection that also challenges them in all the right ways, but because at least one of the persons involved is “ensnared by the vision of a perfect person,” (as the article I’m about to share with you puts it).

To be clear, I believe that the four “must haves” – (as laid out by one of my favorite counselors) – in a relationship are:

CHEMISTRY

SAFETY

INTELLECTUAL CONNECTION

and

LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER

And the way you can tell if you’re ensnared by your vision of the perfect person is if you find yourself saying or thinking things like, “If only he/she weren’t (blank), he/she would be perfect,” and that “blank” goes beyond the four must-haves.

As some of you may recall, in “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” I went to great lengths, and bared all, (hashtag blushing!), so that those of you who struggle with finding real love can get the support you need in cultivating it within yourself, and then with another.  After all, love is about what you can give, not get, and you can’t give what you don’t have.

It all starts there.

And now I’m happy to share with you guys yet another barrier that can prevent you from realizing the loving relationship you seek.  And guess what?  It’s masked by our fantasies of a perfect person.

This article not only gives us the real skinny on our dreams of meeting the perfect person, but it completely destroys that dream due to its basis in a myth.  My hope is that once “woke” you will be free to create the type of dream that will allow you to experience a loving relationship in real life, haha; and release any expectations, (aka “potential premediated resentments”), that would have prevented you from continuously nurturing said loving relationship once you found it.

So now, without further ado, I give you Charles Chu’s “The Myth of the ‘Perfect Person.'”

May it provide you with any additional wisdom and courage you need to go forth and create perfect love with an imperfect person.

-Megan 🙂

“The Myth of the ‘Perfect Person'” Article

 

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.

 

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How to live a life with no regrets

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Dear Megan,

I am 26 years old and embarking on the latter half of my 20’s. I am at a bit of a stand still right now with what I want to do with these last four years of my 20’s. 

What is something you wish you did when you were in your 20’s? 

Thank you in advance for your help!

-In a ‘YOLO’ State of Mind

 


Dear “In a ‘YOLO’ State of Mind,”

Ahhh…  A girl after my own heart.  I remember thinking the very same thing as if it were yesterday, (probably because I’m in my early thirties), and anyone who knows me has heard me say, “You couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20s.”  Why?  Because, like you, in an effort to not squander the decade where total freedom and tons of self-discovery meet and say “Whazzzuuuppp!!!!” I consciously decided to take full advantage of it.  I did everything I wanted to do, and if I liked it, I did it twice.

To be clear, in my 20s I:

Got a college degree, left a cushy job in Hollywood, broke up with the awesome guy I started dating in high school, moved cross-country, went to and dropped out of law school, got married to an amazing guy, got a dog, dived into the performing arts, got divorced, discovered ex-husbands can make the best best-friends, said goodbye to a dog, wrote my first book, had a threesome, traveled to a crap-load of countries, lost all my money, started a business, made a shit ton of money, drove a car through a guy’s house for being a jerk, bought property, bought my first dream car, paid off my student loans, dated a surreal amount of men, including some of the most interesting men in the world, pled guilty in front of a judge, moved cross-country again, learned that volunteer work can be very rewarding, made very little money in the stock market, lost very little money in the stock market, thought I fell in love with a boy overseas two or three times, lost friends, made friends, partied my ass off, and started giving a huge shit about my mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health.

To be even clearer, my budding “young, wild, and free” lifestyle did not come without its fair share of unexpected, and sometimes undesirable, consequences, as I referenced in “The Dirty Little Secret to Living the Life of Your Dreams.”  But was it all worth it?  Helllllsss yeah.

So, outside of maybe trying to meet Justin Bieber, I can’t really say I have an “I wish I had done ‘x’ in my 20s” regret.  I made it a point to not assume that tomorrow is promised, and about once or twice a year I’d compile a “If I were to die in 2 months, what would I do with my remaining time” list.  Then, I’d look at the list and go about doing whatever the hell was on it.  I took full responsibility for my experience on this earth, and didn’t place my happiness in the future.  I was going to do whatever I wanted to do, or die trying.

So, enjoy this time in your life, “In a YOLO State of Mind.”  Dive deep into exploring your interests, no matter how scattered and pointless they may seem, because it’ll all make sense later.  And unless you bring a life into this world, or take one out, pretty much every other consequence is short-term, so don’t be afraid to take risks.  Be brave, and don’t take life too seriously.  After all, nobody gets out alive.  Best of luck.

Megan 🙂

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.