Tag: how to be happy

Three things every sex symbol must let go of in order to live happily ever after

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Hellllooooooooo, sexy guys and dolls 🙂

Well, it’s that time of year again! And in the spirit of giving, this year I thought I’d help spread peace, wholeness, and joy to some of my fellow sex symbols by sharing what I’ve come to know as a MAJOR truth behind creating the beautiful life I told you all about at the end of “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols.”

Now, while I normally extend the term “sex symbol” to include anyone who gets sexually objectified, this bit of advice is particularly aimed at those whose livelihood is tied to their sex appeal, (especially when living in a culture that frowns upon such things
)

And I should also note that in order for this advice to be effective, one must already have made peace with any difficult and/or painful past that helped shape them, find any “sexy” work they do authentic to who they are, and have accepted the maxim that I’m always yammering on about: “nothing is more important than that I feel good.”

If you believe you are worthy of all the love, happiness, and joy that you want for any other person, (or animal), on this planet, then all this should be fairly easy to implement; if not, well, you’ll just continue to listen to outside voices that don’t take into account what you, as an individual, need to live your best life until you get tired of ‘em. No biggie. Lol.

So, without further ado, I present you with the truth that I speak of:

If you’re enjoying the benefits of a livelihood tied to a certain amount of sexual objectification, for you to have peace of mind, fulfillment, and to realize your full potential you’re going to have to let go of the following THREE things.

  • Let go of any religious ideology that tells you that there’s a God out there and He/She’s judging you. In my experience, “God” is pure Love. Judgment is a man-made thing. And you cannot serve two masters – (i.e. both man and Your Creator). God/Source/The Universe, (or whatever you want to call Your Creator), is Love and wants you to feel good – (remember, this is where that deep-seated belief of self-worth comes in!) – so anytime you’re feeling otherwise it’s because you’ve shifted your focus from Love to man-made fear/judgment. So, again, if you want to feel peace and joy, you have to accept that you are loved, in EVERY moment, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.
  • Let go of any social norms that try to convince you that there’s a right way to live your life and a wrong way to live your life. Social norms are created out of a desire to belong, and that desire to belong is created out of a desire to be loved. When you accept that you are already loved no matter what you do, you not only free yourself from the impulse to ignore your own needs and conform for acceptance, but you find out that it is actually your individuality that makes you so damn lovable. So
 play on, playa, lol.
  • Let go of any childhood fantasies that perpetuate the myth that someone, (or something outside of you), is going to come, change your life, and make you happy. Sure, someone dressed as a prince, (or in some of our cases several princes, he-he), may show up and help make your life easier in one way or another, but when it comes to you feeling the sense of security you crave deep down only YOU can give yourself that. So while your sex appeal may help open doors for you, once inside of each new room you enter you’ll have to keep evolving to the point where it’s not only evident that you belong there but no one can shut you out. Doing things for yourself that give you a sense of security is a big part of realizing your full potential and experiencing fulfillment. So, when disappointed at the realization that a prince can turn into a frog at any given moment, pull yourself together, adjust your crown, put on some lipstick, and come up with a plan that’ll give you the life and stability you deserve.

So, what’s the bottom line to all of this letting go business? Accept yourself, your unique path, and whatever season you’re in. Work with yourself. Make room for your own unique personality, needs, temperament, gifts, perceived “short-comings,” etc. when developing a plan to achieve your life’s dreams, knowing that you are loved every day. And don’t forget to have a happy holiday and, more importantly, and AMAZING New Year! Best of luck!

-Megan 🙂

P.S. For my YouTube video on Using Your Looks To Get Ahead in The “Adult” World click here.

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

To Subscribe to my YouTube channel click here!

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.

 

What She Knows for Sure: Damn Good Advice on Life From a 90-Year Old Grandma

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Oh, if only grandma had said that… If only grandma had said that 😅

*UPDATE: CLICK HERER FOR MY YOUTUBE/VIDEO VERSION OF THIS ARTICLE*

 

Well, it’s that time again
  That time when I get so busy doing other stuff in life that I skimp out on answering a question and in its place give you all something way better than any advice I could ever give: Advice from someone who knows WAAAAAYYYYYYY more than me.

Friends, if ever there was solid advice to be found on the internet it is in Marc Chernoff’s “19 Great Truths My Grandmother Told Me on Her 90th Birthday.”  It is pure fire.

While most of grandma’s advice requires a shift in mentality, (e.g. many people live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing that they can customize everything), as someone who began making those shifts years ago I promise you that it’s worth it.

Additionally, most of the advice goes against mainstream ideas, (e.g. “sensitivity is a super power,” and “most of the time you don’t need more to be happier – you need less”), but as Thoreau once said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” so to even have a shot at a good life, accepting that you’ll have to embrace a mentality that looks quite different from those around you comes with the territory.

Sure, this advice may be setting you up for an extra heaping of alienation at times – (okay, it totally is.  I mean, who are we kidding, marching to the beat of your own drum means others will not always hear your music.  [And don’t forget we went over trade-offs in “The Dirty Little Secret to Living the Life of Your Dreams
”])  But if you (1) prioritize how you feel, and (2) accept the fact that it’s more important for you to get you than for others to get you, you’ll be alright with it in the end.

So, go ahead and listen to grandma.  And, like everything else, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.  And for those of you sex symbols who can use it, may her grandmotherly advice give you any guidance, reassurance, and courage you need to continue to blaze your own path.  Best of luck!

-Megan 🙂

Click here for “19 Great Truths My Grandmother Told Me on Her 90th Birthday”

 

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

To Subscribe to my YouTube channel click here!

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.

 

 

Say these two words to unlock the door to everything you want

tashacaufieldLeave a comment

 

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Nooo…. The two words aren’t “it’s here…” But those are good, too, haha.

 

Happy holidays, sexy gals and guys!

Well, the new year is upon us, and as we all hope/dream/plan/prepare, etc. for a brighter future I decided not to answer any questions this week, and instead share something I’ve found helpful in the manifestation of dreams.  (You know, in case anyone is looking to set 2018 on fire
 Well, that and the fact that I just published a new book and have been too busy to answer any questions
  But never mind that.)

As those of you who’ve read “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” know, I’ve had some really depressing moments in life – (oy) – and, at times, climbing out of them has been nothing short of miraculous. However, since my goal in life was never to survive, but to thrive, I learned a thing or two about creating the life of your dreams along the way.  And with the help of this 5-minute video, I would like to share with you guys the key ingredient I, and others, have found to unlocking the door to the life of your dreams.

This video features the two words that not only carried me through tough times, but elevated me far, far above them.  In the intended spirit that the video conveys, I said these words in the midst of dark times, and then watched as, slowly but surely, a path paved with inspired actions illuminated before me and led me to my best and most authentic life.

Consequently, these two words are now the first thing I say when I wake up, and the last thing I express at night when I fill out my gratitude journal.  They truly are the gift that keeps on giving.

And I am 100% sure that if you embrace this two-word mantra, you too will find that “what you appreciate, appreciates.”

So, Happy New Year!  And in 2018 may you allow yourself to receive everything your beautiful little heart desires.

 

-Megan 🙂

P.S.  If this video is ever disabled, just type “Say Thank You Fearless Soul” into YouTube until it is brought to my attention.  Thanks, and I’ll be back in 2018 with more answers to more of your questions!

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

To Subscribe to my YouTube channel click here!

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.

 

How to live a life with no regrets

tashacaufieldLeave a comment

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Dear Megan,

I am 26 years old and embarking on the latter half of my 20’s. I am at a bit of a stand still right now with what I want to do with these last four years of my 20’s. 

What is something you wish you did when you were in your 20’s? 

Thank you in advance for your help!

-In a ‘YOLO’ State of Mind

 

Dear “In a ‘YOLO’ State of Mind,”

Ahhh
  A girl after my own heart.  I remember thinking the very same thing as if it were yesterday, (probably because I’m in my early thirties), and anyone who knows me has heard me say, “You couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20s.”  Why?  Because, like you, in an effort to not squander the decade where total freedom and tons of self-discovery meet and say “Whazzzuuuppp!!!!” I consciously decided to take full advantage of it.  I did everything I wanted to do, and if I liked it, I did it twice.

To be clear, in my 20s I:

Got a college degree, left a cushy job in Hollywood, broke up with the awesome guy I started dating in high school, moved cross-country, went to and dropped out of law school, got married to an amazing guy, got a dog, dived into the performing arts, got divorced, discovered ex-husbands can make the best best-friends, said goodbye to a dog, wrote my first book, had a threesome, traveled to a crap-load of countries, lost all my money, started a business, made a shit ton of money, drove a car through a guy’s house for being a jerk, bought property, bought my first dream car, paid off my student loans, dated a surreal amount of men, including some of the most interesting men in the world, pled guilty in front of a judge, moved cross-country again, learned that volunteer work can be very rewarding, made very little money in the stock market, lost very little money in the stock market, thought I fell in love with a boy overseas two or three times, lost friends, made friends, partied my ass off, and started giving a huge shit about my mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health.

To be even clearer, my budding “young, wild, and free” lifestyle did not come without its fair share of unexpected, and sometimes undesirable, consequences, as I referenced in “The Dirty Little Secret to Living the Life of Your Dreams.”  But was it all worth it?  Helllllsss yeah.

So, outside of maybe trying to meet Justin Bieber, I can’t really say I have an “I wish I had done ‘x’ in my 20s” regret.  I made it a point to not assume that tomorrow is promised, and about once or twice a year I’d compile a “If I were to die in 2 months, what would I do with my remaining time” list.  Then, I’d look at the list and go about doing whatever the hell was on it.  I took full responsibility for my experience on this earth, and didn’t place my happiness in the future.  I was going to do whatever I wanted to do, or die trying.

So, enjoy this time in your life, “In a YOLO State of Mind.”  Dive deep into exploring your interests, no matter how scattered and pointless they may seem, because it’ll all make sense later.  And unless you bring a life into this world, or take one out, pretty much every other consequence is short-term, so don’t be afraid to take risks.  Be brave, and don’t take life too seriously.  After all, nobody gets out alive.  Best of luck.

Megan 🙂

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

To Subscribe to my YouTube channel click here!

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.

The dirty little secret to living the life of your dreams

tashacaufield2 Comments
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But at what cost?

Dear Megan,

I’m in a bit of a pickle. I am a 22-year-old woman living with my 23-year-old fiancĂ©. I’m about to finish my degree, and once it’s completed the two of us will be moving back in with his parents until the wedding, and then we plan to move abroad after a long honeymoon in India.

Where the problem comes in, is the future we have paved for ourselves. For a long while, even before the two of us met, I’ve not been enthused by the 9-5/office job lifestyle. I’ve always wanted to travel for extended periods, earning money whilst seeing the world.

When we got together of course I had to make some serious considerations in my head. Once we’d been together for a while, and I knew this was going to be for the long-haul, I brought it up with him and it was clear that he didn’t want to join me in this venture. Which is fair enough, we’d essentially be moving from country to country every 6-12 months, living my dream, with my partner following me around from job to job. It’d be unfair on him. Later, we came up with a compromise. We’d spend a few months in India for our honeymoon. Great stuff.

However, the more time goes by, the more I realize that a few months in India isn’t going to satisfy this urge. I find myself looking at teaching English abroad every month or two, places to go, qualifications to attain, etc. But after a couple of hours I always end up saying, “Well, it’s not actually going to happen, it’s just a dream, so stop wasting your time, you fool.” Then I sort of give up, feeling a bit deflated.

This keeps happening, and more and more frequently. So now I seem to be stuck in this horrible dilemma of: Do I set aside my dreams, perhaps regretting never even trying years from now? Or do I leave my fiancé, whom I love so much, and perhaps regret that years from now?

Sincerely,

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe

Dear “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe,”

A pickle indeed, you are in! (Sigh. Yoda impersonations never work via text.) Anywho, if you know me, you know I’m all about giving you the tools to make the best decision for yourself. So, what I’m about to share with you will not only do just that, but it’ll change your life. (#HumbleBragging.) I could break all the information down for you here, but my brother-from-another-mother, Srinivas Rao, did it so eloquently in his article “5 Things I Had to Give Up to Be Successful,” it’d be a shame not to refer you to it.  I encourage you to check it out here.

From it, you’ll learn the dirty little secret to living the life of your dreams: “There’s an opportunity cost to everything worthwhile in life.” And while we all may get that mentally, it’s only after we fully accept it that we can embrace who we are and set a solid foundation for living contently ever after.

You see, your question is so much bigger than “Should I do this?” or “Should I do that?” It’s “How do I live the life of my dreams and be 100% okay with it?” And the answer to that comes down to not only knowing, but accepting the cost of your dream. After all, regret, lack of conviction, and feeling guilty about who and how you are can spoil any well-planned, globe-trekking adventure or marriage.

As Rao points out, if you want to be a doctor you’ll give up basically a decade of your life to training. And if you want to be an entrepreneur you give up, amongst a thousand other things, the need for certainty and security through a steady paycheck. If you want kids you give up the ability to take more risks and financial freedoms. And, as you’re finding out now, if you want to travel the world you give up familiarity, time with friends and family, and a sense of belonging and community. Gulp. That’s a lot.

In my case, I chose travel over everything else and it was worth it because, as Prince Ea beautifully points out in this video, we don’t necessarily have dreams, they have us. When it came to giving up other things to live the life of my dreams, some things were easier to let go of than others. I was fortunate enough to learn early on that I had to give up other people’s definition of success in order to find the peace I sought after intimately observing my millionaire mentors struggle with personal fulfillment; but as you can see in my book “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols,” giving up baggage related to past experiences took “a little” longer.

So, here’s the tool I want to give you to help you solve this, and similar, dilemmas as they arise. When you find yourself really wanting something write down what it is and put it in one column. Then, write down what belief, habit, etc. you’ll have to give up in order to achieve it in another column. Finally, if you’re willing to pay the cost, in the last column write down what you’ll need to do physically and/or mentally to support your desire in light of its cost. From this process you will also get how creative you can be with your compromises, and when something is so far of a reach that it no longer supports who you are as a person.

All this, my dear, is a great secret for you to learn at your age. It will serve you greatly in achieving contentment whilst being your most authentic self. And it will also help you build the proper foundation for a life that fulfills your deepest desires. And once you have that foundation the rest will fall into place. Best of luck, and when in Venice stop in Harry’s and have a Bellini for me ;).

-Megan 🙂

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

To submit your question to “Dear Megan” click here!

“Dear Megan” Home Page

To Subscribe to my YouTube channel click here!

Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.