Boy, have I got some BIG news for you!!… In case the featured YouTube “thumbnail” picture didn’t give it away, I’m expanding “Dear Megan” to include the new YouTube channel I’m starting! (But don’t worry, I’ll still be taking and answering questions here.)
In honor of this expansion, I’ve decided to make my first video all about tackling the often difficult and terrifying act of MOVING ON.
So, if you’ve been wanting to move on from something you’ve found extremely hard to let go of – like an unsatisfactory job or career, a bad romantic relationship, a flaky friend, or even a financially-generous-but-cock-blocking “older male friend” (he he) – I highly recommend you check out this video.
In it I discuss what to do after you’ve had enough of the place you’ve outgrown, how to deal with being outside of your comfort zone, and the secret to finding yourself in the place you ultimately want to be.
So, check out the video below. And if it helps you in any way, please make sure to LIKE/THUMBS UP the video, and hit the SUBSCRIBE button and notification bell to be notified of both “Dear Megan” and similar, but non-“Dear Megan” content.
Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to. And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.
Well, that was pretty much straight to the point, lol… So, let me get straight to mine.
Lacking motivation? Try this: Nothing.
And by “nothing” I mean, absolutely, positively, fantastically nothing.
Give yourself time to breathe… Time to recharge…
Whether it be days, weeks, or even months – (it’s rarely months) – CHILL THE F*CK OUT.
You don’t have to do anything to be worthy of the air you breathe. You’re unconditionally loved. So feel free to be a human BEing whenever you want, and not always a human DOing.
Now, with that said, if you want to do something, but aren’t sure what, a “lackadaisical” phase, (when not connected to the type of depression I address in this answer), typically signifies that you’re at a turning point in your life and your inner being is waiting for you to stop doing stuff long enough for you to be able to hear from it what your next move and/or perspective should be.
That’s called inspiration. When you’re moved to do things from within.
Motivation, on the other hand, consists of external influences. It can work hand-in-hand with inspiration. But solo? It’s a dud. It’s like running on a portable battery. Eventually you’ll run out of power and want to plug back in.
Furthermore, action driven from within is the only type of action that leads to soul satisfying results. So when you care about how you feel it’s hard to do things without your spirit’s “go-ahead.” It’s like trying to get a dog to come to you when he knows there’s nothing in it for him. Ya’ll be staring at each other all day! Haha. (Alright, I’ll stop with the metaphors, lol…)
Now, will you die from a lack of motivation? Nooooooo… Hahaha. Since you do, in fact, care about how you feel – as evidenced by you writing in and/or reading this – your inner being’s desire to feel good will inspire you to continue to do the things that maintain not just your physical well-being, but that of those you love and who depend on you, if necessary. Now you may miss a meal here and there in the brief time it takes you to reconnect with your inner voice. But, don’t worry, the cops won’t bust down your door and find a bunch of skeletons, haha. It just won’t happen.
The quicker yougive yourself permission to not only let go of doing the unsatisfying things you think you should be doing, but also permission to not be clear, and to not make a move until you are, the quicker you open yourself up to receive the new breadcrumb instructions of stuff to do that ultimately is satisfying,(i.e. stuff you want to do).
A little self-acceptance goes a long way. And a little stillness? Even further.
So, make peace with where you’re at, and before you know it, you’ll be doing things that bring you peace. Best of luck.
-Megan 🙂
P.S. And for more on this topic as it relates to avoiding a specific project you want to work on I highly recommend Steven Pressfield’s “The War of Art.”
Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to. And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.
Well, it’s that time again… That time when I get so busy doing other stuff in life that I skimp out on answering a question and in its place give you all something way better than any advice I could ever give: Advice from someone who knows WAAAAAYYYYYYY more than me.
While most of grandma’s advice requires a shift in mentality, (e.g. many people live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing that they can customize everything), as someone who began making those shifts years ago I promise you that it’s worth it.
Additionally, most of the advice goes against mainstream ideas, (e.g. “sensitivity is a super power,” and “most of the time you don’t need more to be happier – you need less”), but as Thoreau once said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” so to even have a shot at a good life, accepting that you’ll have to embrace a mentality that looks quite different from those around you comes with the territory.
Sure, this advice may be setting you up for an extra heaping of alienation at times – (okay, it totally is. I mean, who are we kidding, marching to the beat of your own drum means others will not always hear your music. [And don’t forget we went over trade-offs in “The Dirty Little Secret to Living the Life of Your Dreams…”]) But if you (1) prioritize how you feel, and (2) accept the fact that it’s more important for you to get you than for others to get you, you’ll be alright with it in the end.
So, go ahead and listen to grandma. And, like everything else, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. And for those of you sex symbols who can use it, may her grandmotherly advice give you any guidance, reassurance, and courage you need to continue to blaze your own path. Best of luck!
Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to. And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.
What NOT to say when “pretty privilege” gets you a seat at the table.
Dear Megan,
Someone that I work with has asked me if I would like to present with him at an event later this year. I was quite surprised when he asked as he is a very successful, late-50s-year-old man, and I’m only in my 20’s, still trying to come to grips with the system. I’ve spoken in meetings, but he has never seen me present anything before.
I feel like this could be an amazing opportunity for me as it would get me noticed in the company and could lead to great things. However, I’m a little worried that there could be an ulterior motive behind this. I feel terrible saying it but I just don’t know why he would want to work with me. I’m intelligent, but he could easily do it himself. And I’m a little worried as it will mean we will have to be alone together.
I’ve never gotten a creepy vibe from him, but, well, you know… He isn’t married and I’ve been told he had a bit of a reputation in his younger years. I guess that could just be a rumor, though?
What do you think? Should I go for it, or politely decline?
Ahhh… Career decisions that make you wonder if you’re becoming “the type of woman who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong,” as Mae described ‘em in “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols,” lol. Well, fret not, my friend, for you’ve come to the right place. From my first job out of college to, well, er, more recent stuff, I’ve learned both the easy and hard way when to take advantage of “pretty privilege” – (that’s privileges you get for being pretty, to all you newcomers) – and here’s my two cents on your dilemma.
Question: Should you take an assignment you may have gotten due to “pretty privilege?” Answer: Heeelllllllls yeah… IF:
(1) You can do the job really well. An open door is great, but being qualified to stay in the room is a whole other story. You don’t get too many shots to show your competence to a group of people before you have to pick up, move cross-country, and try your luck elsewhere. So, if you’re confident that you’re prepared to handle the challenge, seize it. It’s a moment you’ve been waiting for.
AND
(2) You can stay focused on your goals. Remember what you came for, and what you want to get out of the opportunity. And don’t let another’s agenda overtake yours once you’ve gotten your foot in the door, (which can easily happen when we feel like we owe someone for their “favor.”) If someone, even someone who’s opened a door for you, has plans for your life that don’t jive with yours – (like, say, their bleep in your bleep) – disassociate yourself from him or her. The only thing you need to do on your way to achieving all your pretty, little heart’s desires is to stay true to who you are.
Lastly, don’t short-change yourself. Everyone has something “God-given” that will open some doors for them. It could be a big brain, a well-connected family, charisma, good looks, a sympathetic situation, some random thing in common with a gate-keeper, or any combination of the above. At the end of the day, your success in life will be largely dependent on all the good decisions you make, and all the inspired actions you take. Without those you wouldn’t even be in a position to take advantage of the “good cards” you’re dealt.
So, “Virgin to Pretty Privilege,” my advice is to use all the cards you’ve been dealt, including your pretty one, without apology. For life comes with its own inherent set of complications, so when it throws you an “easy” bone, take it. Best of luck.
Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to. And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.
The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols 