Alright sexy gals, (and the wolves who adore them ;)),
So, I’m going to bypass answering a question this week because I came across an article that is just too good to not share it with you guys.
When looking at a lot of the relationship problems many of you have, I’ve noticed that oftentimes a relationship fails not because the two people involved don’t feel a love connection that also challenges them in all the right ways, but because at least one of the persons involved is “ensnared by the vision of a perfect person,” (as the article I’m about to share with you puts it).
To be clear, I believe that the four “must haves” – (as laid out by one of my favorite counselors) – in a relationship are:
LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER
And the way you can tell if you’re ensnared by your vision of the perfect person is if you find yourself saying or thinking things like, “If only he/she weren’t (blank), he/she would be perfect,” and that “blank” goes beyond the four must-haves.
As some of you may recall, in “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” I went to great lengths, and bared all, (hashtag blushing!), so that those of you who struggle with finding real love can get the support you need in cultivating it within yourself, and then with another. After all, love is about what you can give, not get, and you can’t give what you don’t have.
It all starts there.
And now I’m happy to share with you guys yet another barrier that can prevent you from realizing the loving relationship you seek. And guess what? It’s masked by our fantasies of a perfect person.
This article not only gives us the real skinny on our dreams of meeting the perfect person, but it completely destroys that dream due to its basis in a myth. My hope is that once “woke” you will be free to create the type of dream that will allow you to experience a loving relationship in real life, haha; and release any expectations, (aka “potential premediated resentments”), that would have prevented you from continuously nurturing said loving relationship once you found it.
So now, without further ado, I give you Charles Chu’s “The Myth of the ‘Perfect Person.'”
May it provide you with any additional wisdom and courage you need to go forth and create perfect love with an imperfect person.
Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to. And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.