I recently found out my boyfriend cheated. What should I do?
-If Loving Him is Wrong… I Actually Wanna be Right
Dear “If Loving Him is Wrong… I Actually Wanna be Right,”
Welp, since a straightforward question deserves a straightforward answer let’s get to it then, shall we?
So, you just found out you got an #AntiRelationshipGoals situation on your hands, and you’re wondering what you should do about it. Well:
First, allow yourself to feel whatever range of emotions sweep over you, and for however long you need to – (and feel free to get some exercise a la this article’s supporting GIF if you need to, as well, lol).
Once you’re in a more stable mental place, start thanking God for this moment of clarity. (And the fact that not being married means you don’t have to factor in lawyers and loads more paperwork into your decision-making process). At this moment you are presented with not only the opportunity to get super clear on what you want, so you can get what you want, but the chance to send a strong message to your psyche that reminds you of what you deserve. I encourage you to seize this moment and do so.
As soon as possible, and for the weeks following, I recommend that you take control of your creative power, ignore the opinions of others – including your boyfriend’s – and focus exclusively on what you want a relationship to feel like. Why? Because when you focus exclusively on the way you want your relationship to feel, you’ll get so in tune with the relationship of your dreams that you’ll be inspired to make choices that support the creation of it.
Ignore what’s already transpired, as it’s already been done, and take time to just sit and marinate in the feelings that you envision yourself having in your dream relationship. Don’t focus on things you want to do or have with another person, but rather on how you want to feel within a relationship. Writing those feelings down will help, too.
From there, every time you’ll have to make a decision regarding your relationship, the choice that feels good will be in alignment with your dream and get you closer to it, and the choice that feels bad won’t. And that will be your guiding principle – the thing that will get you your dream relationship. The thing that will allow you to finally achieve your #RelationshipGoals. Best of luck!
P.S. And for more help on getting your head to work with your heart check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols.”
…And for help on creating a “cheat-proof relationship” moving forward check out this article!
Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to. And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.