To get a boob job, or not get a boob job? That is the question.

boob smash
Unfortunately, the decision to get implants is more about how you feel than your ability to smash bricks with them

Dear Megan,

Hi, I need your advice on implants. 

A long time ago I got implants, which worked out great for many years until one day one ruptured and slowly deflated. My doctor told me to get it replaced or my sex life would be over, and true enough I have not had one intimate relationship since. All I’ve done is work, buy a house, raise my kids etc., and it’s been over 15 years. I was simply too embarrassed to imagine a man’s reaction to my… “situation,” but now I want to find someone to be in my life.

Anyway, I can afford to get new implants now, but I’m 64. Is that too old or ridiculous? What do you think? I’m still very attractive and I don’t want to be single for the next 15 years. I’d feel a lot sexier if I had some boobs.


– Trying to Get Out of Kansas Because Everything Here Is Flat


Dear “Trying to Get Out of Kansas Because Everything Here Is Flat,”

You know what?  I’m going to put aside any boob jokes, (minus the nickname I gave you), and get straight to doing what I do best – teaching ya’ll ladies how to fish – because whenever you’re faced with a decision about your life and your body, and you’re asking someone else what you should do with it?  Well, just know that you’re wandering down the wrong path and will end up somewhere in the ditches before you know it.

Since the goal behind any decision is to make the choice that will feel good, (or better than the other choice), the only way you can make the right decision here is to focus on what feels good to you.

To be clear, whoever you attract in your life just echoes how you feel about yourself deep down.  So, if you’re unhappy with your looks you’re going to attract someone who feeds that insecurity.  And if you’re happy with your looks, you’ll attract a wolf who, well, could give two sh*ts about your “situation.”

And while I agree that a boob job is one of many ways to get “happy with your looks,” the decision to get your titties done, believe it or not, still comes down to the classic, “You only ever have one choice: between love and fear” maxim.  Do you want to get implants because you think having them will make you feel good?  Or because you’re afraid you’ll be alone if you don’t.

If you haven’t gotten “still” long enough to listen to yourself, and have allowed outside influences to drown out your inner voice, chances are that the answer to even that question is murky.  So right now the clarity/answer you’re looking for can only be found when you stop listening to what others tell you you should do with your body, and get still long enough to hear your inner voice’s answer in the form of an impulse, (you’ll most likely receive it upon waking one morning, but it can come any time).

And for further guidance, as my favorite teacher, Abraham Hicks, puts it, If the impulse comes from a joyous thought that feels good, follow it. If the impulse comes from an uncomfortable thought that felt bad, don’t follow it.”   

However, if you’re like most people and feel that you “ain’t got time for all that inner-searching, woo-woo stuff,” (i.e. just want me to give you the fish), well, since you end your email with “I’d feel a lot sexier if I had some boobs,” go get yourself some titties, girl.  Just know that until you take the time to harmonize with what’s on your inside, not only can no one else, but any peace you find, like them soon-to-be spectacular jugs on your chest, will be temporary.  Best of luck.

-Megan 🙂

For my story check out “The Care and Feeding of Sex Symbols” here

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Note: As this column is designed to be a judgement-free zone, only those who have been, (or know someone who has been), in a similar situation are invited to comment; especially if the question is unorthodox or hard for one to relate to.  And for even more relevant insight, those seeking answers are always encouraged to go within.